California Update

 Been 9 weeks now since I've moved out here to California from Michigan....and I hate it.
   I should keep reminding myself that plans you think will work, won't sometimes.

What started as a stay for a few weeks at this hell of a home turned out to be, and it still looks like its going to be, a permeant residence. 

The plan was simple: once I moved out here I'd find work and begin saving so Chris and I could move out from under Pete and his two girls. But due to this sad excuse of an economy and even having a damn degree, no such luck and still looking for a damn job. So what have I been doing these past 9 weeks? Living in hell. Let me tell you a little bit about the people I'm living with. Peter Coward is my fiancee's, Chris, cousin. Pete has two girls, which I will refer to them as V. and A. V is 6 and A is 10. Both beautiful little girls, but spoiled as shit, but I'll get back to that soon. First let me begin with their father.

 Pete is a 46 year old, single, teacher. I can't stand him. He is a sorry excuse for a human sometimes.
   How should I put it? How about starting off with his characteristics. He's very inconsiderate. Example: eating up someone's food thats not his, speaking loudly on the damn phone in the living room, early in the morning I might add WHERE Chris and I sleep, repeating shit until one of us responds, lie like we can't tell see right through him....the list goes on. I do appreciate him allowing me to stay here along with Chris while we try to get back on our feet. But that is the only thing I am grateful for... Another thing: not very clean at all. I label Pete as a "Denied Cleaner". This is a person who thinks he can clean, but only does the MINIMUM of cleaning. Doesn't really know how to do dishes, nothing is really organized, I guess this is to my standards. Another, CHEAP. Everything this man brings into this house is cheap. Cheap food, cheap cleaning solutions, etc. We went through 4 cheap sponges before I went to go and buy a REAL sponge. Same with the fucking dish soap... No wonder nothing in this house last forever and no wonder he is so fuck broke, constantly gonna go and buy more cheap shit that doesn't last long. Another: WASTEFUL. This is a man whole will cook or bring food home, put it in the fridge and keep there....for 3 to 4 weeks. I thought that I would never seen BLACK Mac&Cheese before, but I have now since scumming to living in this apartment. I never truly feel clean here and never will. The other night, after buy Pine-sol and some other REAL cleaning materials, I super cleaned his kitchen and bathroom. Kitchen: Fridge, stove, floor, dishes, organized the dishes, food, etc. Bathroom: Cleaned the dirty as toilet, bathtub, floor, organized, etc. The next day? The girls come back and he and them FUCK UP EVERYTHING. What was the fucking point? No one in this house likes to keep anything clean. No point in telling Chris to put his clothes away, I'll just see them all over the living again. No point in cleaning anything. Everyone will just destroy and no bother to clean up after themselves... Im slowly going crazy everyday I end up being in this house.... and now on to the girls.


 Like I said before, Pete has two beautiful daughters, A and V. V is 6. Only that comes to  mind when I think about here is Adorable. She's full of life and innocence. Just cute and my favorite. I feel sorry that she has the mother she has, but I am glad Pete took her and has full custody of her. Sure she has her bad characteristics: spoiled as all, whiny, and sometimes doesn't listen, but she is at that age where she is learning. I have no problem watching her and taking care of her. Its her older sister that I seriously have problems with and really can't stand.

A is 10. And a brat from out of this world. Thanks to the situation she's in, she's come to act like a drama queen who, from learning from her older sister, to bully and be mean to her younger sister. The sad thing is that its not her fault. I just wish she be nicer to V and stop acting like its all her and stop being sneaky. But of course, she's at that age where she's trying to be older than she is and tries to be super sneaky which I can't sand. I really don't like at all and I don't think I ever will. I really hate having to watch or anything for that matter. I don't know why this feeling of super dis-like is soo strong with her. Its starting to get hard to hide my feelings about her or for anything for that matter. Only soo much I can fucking take before I explore and go off on everyone and leave this fucking house. I don't care if I have to move back to Michigan. I go back with my head held high and suck in my pride and all the I told you so's and you shouldn't have left. I'd rather deal with that than deal with another minute of this shit.

I just want a job. I want to get out of here. I want to leave this hell hole and this annoying fucking humans... I will go off. No more holding shit back. Thanks for sure....

-sigh- It feels good to go off like that. I rather go off here than to Chris or anyone else right now. I don't want to hear what anyone has to say. Yes, I'm being selfish right now, yes I'm being mean, all that evil stuff. I could care less. I'd rather go off on this blog about my problems and not be judge than go off on someone else. This is the real me coming. I miss living alone. I miss the super clean of my apartment. I miss the quietness, the total control and having things. I miss all of it.

 I think its time I go home, but I don't want to. Not just yet. But soon, if nothing changes because I seriously can't take this shit anymore.

   All I can do is pray... just pray